It goes together like a horse and …

The Today Show did a piece about age and marriage. USA Today reported the average age of men and women getting married today was 26 (women) and 28 (men).

Here’s the clip

That got me thinking. There is no right age for marriage. Every relationship, every couple is different. I’ve known young couples that got married and it didn’t work out and others it did.

The biggest factor to consider when contemplating popping the question is communication. If both parties discuss marriage and what it means to each of them, then I think they are ready to walk down the aisle. It doesn’t matter what age John and Jane are, if they can’t have a serious talk about what they truly want from life, then no love or long-term relationship would prosper.

Getting married is a big deal. I won’t deny that, but I don’t think age is the factor to consider. Maturity is the word these conversations need. John and Jane need to be mature enough to know what they are doing, talk about how many children they want (if they want children), where they want to live (or not live), what is important to each of them in terms of the rest of their lives. All are questions that should be openly discussed with honesty.

Only then should either party make a choice. As soon as John opens the little black (red or whatever color) box, Jane should begin thinking logistics. Sure it doesn’t sound romantic, but its practical and could save a lot of heart ache.

This is a world where more than half of marriages end in divorce, and maybe that’s no problem for some, but if Jane wants a marriage that really will be “till death do us part” she’s got a lot of questions to ask. I will admit not every possiblity can be foreseen and you can’t prepare for all curve balls that life will throw at you and your partner, but talking about it most certainly will help.

The best age for saying “I do” is whatever age feels right. You may not have a lot of life experience at 20, but if you and your Mr. Possible can talk through your issues, making a lifetime promise may be an OK choice. I won’t say it doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable to think about young people getting married, but I will say waiting because of age is just a idiotic.

So when John gets down on one knee, start talking. It might be fun, it will certainly cause disagreement, but it will lead to an answer. Whether yes or no or “we should wait” comes from it, John and Jane are already prepared for a marriage, maturity and all, no matter what the age.


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