Bare face


I’m such a girl. I love make-up. I just can’t help it. Also, my own self-consciousness and self-deprecation make cosmetics the perfect obsession.

I mean I love my no-make-up-required weekends just as much as the next girl, but somehow I came to be like most American women — I just don’t go anywhere without make-up on.

As I’ve gotten older my make-up routine has gotten much simpler — down from daily eyeliner and detailed foundation to a basic BB cream, concealer, blush and mascara. But that 5-minute routine is still my daily face. No exceptions.

So today when my doctor told me I had to forgo all make-up (especially my beloved concealer and mascara) for a full week, I was unsure how to proceed.

Here’s the thing, I just don’t feel pretty without make-up. If I even know I’ll be in photos I go to extra lengths with my cosmetic routine.

20130820-213501.jpgWhen the news hit me, I started thinking about what this means, what events were coming up and where I’d have to be without make-up. I also briefly considered how to get out of it. And then I realized how stupid this is. It’s just make-up. It can’t change my face that much. And why should I feel so bad about myself that when my doctor tells me I need to skip the morning make-up, I feel ugly.

I’ve struggled with my self-image since I was a kid. And I’ve been critical of myself since I was a kid. I think I always assumed that when I got older, I’d just be comfortable with myself (if for nothing other than that I’d lived with myself for longer). I’m 27 and I still feel awkward. Sure, I feel much prettier than I did at 12 or 13 (and thank god for that) but what is it that makes me continue to feel like I’m less than myself without some tinted moisturizer on?

When do I get my She’s-All-That transformation? or are those kinds of make-overs completely fake?

Maybe we don’t change our looks, we just stop giving a damn. Confidence is the ultimate sex appeal, right? But if that’s the case, how does one find it? There must be a secret formula we can market to the hordes of women reading beauty magazines. Take this and you’ll instantly feel beautiful.

For all the crap I talk about feminist issues and female power, I certainly don’t feel it (you know, without my face on). I mean come on — Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline? I was destined to fail at this.

“If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?”
― Tina FeyBossypants

I’ve decided to take this next week as a sort of challenge — a challenge to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t need products to make me me. Now I just have to convince myself this is true.

And at the very least, my morning routine just got a little shorter.

One Response to “Bare face”
  1. April says:

    That’s why l prefer working in an unpretentious environment where no one gives a flip or even notices whether or not I had time to put on mascara in the morning. And is also possibly why I gave up so easily on broadcast journalism 😀

    Have you read the Naked Face Project blog?

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