Before bailing, beware of bad possibilities, others’ feelings

Show courtesy, follow unspoken rules when dumping boy/girlfriend


I’m sorry, but this just isn’t really working out right now. I don’t know. Maybe I need a little time for me, but I just can’t do this. We need some time apart. This really sucks, and I’m sorry but something just isn’t right. And I need to figure this out on my own.

Yeah, getting dumped sucks. Dumping someone you care for, or once cared for, sucks too. But both are hazards of being in adult, romantic relationships. So, if we are going to continue to make our lives complicated with the muck of breakups, I think there should be some rules. After all, you don’t want to be someone’s worst breakup story.

I know I wrote about breaking up already, but with summer just around the weekend and study abroad approaching fast, getting dumped is in the back of everyone’s brain.

First of all, never, ever breakup with someone online, on the phone or in a Post-it note. If you’re going to break my heart, have the decency to do it in person, look in my eyes when you break my heart. AIM was not created to make it easier on you, the dumper. “Dear John” letters should long be forgotten.

If you start having “single” thoughts, don’t string your significant other along. Don’t wait a month trying to figure it out. Let me in on this secret. Don’t postpone until a birthday, Valentine’s Day or any other holiday that could someday make the list of worst breakups ever. Like most other things in life, it’s all in the timing. And dumping someone on a birthday is just cruel and selfish. So think about it.

Remember Scar’s song from “The Lion King” and “be prepared.” Don’t just blurt it out. No one likes mumblers. “This isn’t working,” doesn’t work for me. Know how and why. It saves headaches and possibly heartaches in the end.

Once you know which words to use to break my heart, why you no longer see me in your future and when you’re going to let me down lightly, don’t touch me. No hugs, kisses or anything else. You’re not entitled to one last goodbye. If you’re going to do it, take Nike’s advice and “just do it.” If I’m getting dumped, I want to spend as little time with you as possible. So, come in, say what you have to say and get the hell out of my life.

It’s really sad that when I ask a room full of twenty-somethings about their worst breakup, everyone seems to have a story that will make you cringe. Those guys (and girls) are still out there, dating unknowing other significant others. And that unsuspecting, future victim has no clue that he’s that one that dumps girls on AIM after two weeks once he’s met his next victim.

Save us a squirmy conversation, and be decent when you bail. Let’s not leave a dusty road of broken hearts in our past and just show care to someone you once cared for. We are your recommendations for the future.


(Originally written 4.19.2006)


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